i did it.

so, in regards to yesterday's post, i did it. i told them. and i only cried a little bit. and when i sat down, the woman i was sitting with told me that while i was talking, her seven-year-old daughter whispered to her, "mommy, can we go with miss katherine?"

way to break my heart.

i will miss you, riverdale. thanks for everything.

making it official. and public. publically official.

so, in 20 minutes, i'm making an announcement at my church that i'm leaving. whoo. i'm pretty nervous about it. i'm not sure how they're going to react. this part is no fun.
for those of you who don't know what i'm talking about, let me fill you in! a few weeks ago, i accepted a new job with the cco! in june, i'll be starting a new hybrid position as an area director/development associate. basically, that means i'll be supervising our campus staff and raising money for the central region's general fund. i'll be moving to pittsburgh this spring, and sharing space in our main office in east liberty.
that effectively ends my employment at my current church, and so i need to tell them today. the pastor and the session know, and a few others, but this is the big "spill the beans" day to tell everyone else. it's so hard, because i've been a part of this family here for three years, and it's never been just a job to me. it's my life, and it's hard to say goodbye.
however, i am enjoying the "certainty of call," that i know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God prepared this new job for me. and so this is what i'll do. and it will be good, because it's the right thing.
(and for those of you who were helping me discern what i should do over the last few months, i went to erie last week, and i am more sure than ever about never moving there. ever. look what we saw!)
the inscription in front of it says, "i only have flies for you." well, erie, i only have flies for you too. gross.

free coffee and good news

God is good. do you know that? this morning something good happened that i was not expecting. yesterday i got an email from starbucks that said they were hosting a "coffee break" this morning from 10-12, and if you came in, they'd give you a free tall drip coffee. i don't normally go to starbucks, but i thought, "hey, free coffee!" so i went in.
while i was doctoring my verona blend, i ripped the plastic top. so, i went back up to the counter to ask for another one, as i've spilled coffee in my car a few too many times already. there was a woman at the counter, and i was surprised to see that it was one of the mothers from my after school program. i said hello, and we started talking.
she started to tell me how much her son loves our program, and especially that he loves his small group leader, who is one of my students at rmu. every week when i pick him up from school, he asks me eagerly if sarah will be there today. the first thing he is does when he gets to the church is run to her room to greet her. this past monday when his mother picked him up, she told us that he won't be able to come anymore, because for the next few months, she's going to be travelling every monday afternoon, and she's unable to pick him up. she was talking to his small group leader about how sad her son is that he won't be able to come, and so sarah offered to drive him home herself every week. and now the little boy is thrilled because he loves sarah, and he gets to keep coming to our after school program. so his mother was thanking me for having it, because it is really making a difference in his life. the other day he said to her, "mommy, i want to give my life to Jesus." he is nine years old. i almost started crying, because it's not very often that i get to see how our work is really making a difference. and she said to me, "thank you so much for doing your program, because he wouldn't have said that if it he wasn't with you."
that little boy surrendered his life to Christ, partly because of the faithfulness of a college student, serving in the local church. through her love and influence, he has decided to live for Jesus. this is exactly what we strive for with the cco, partnering the university with a church, transforming college students to transform the world. this is a success story.
my job is not like other jobs; most days it's hard to see progress, and the work is never finished. it can go on for weeks, and even months, without visible signs of progress or improvement. God calls for faithfulness, even when we can't see the immediate fruits of our labors. but i feel so blessed lately, because God is being so faithful to show me where he is working, and that all my efforts have not been in vain. he is using me, and over the last few weeks, he has allowed me to see little glimpses of his kingdom coming on earth. and not only does he let me be part of it, he lets me see it too. so God, thanks for free coffee, and good news.

it's a beautiful day!

it's over 70 degrees here today. and there's not a cloud in the sky. so i'm out of here... i'm not going to sit in my office like some sort of chump. and caledonia... how's that flood warning workin' out for ya? maybe at least the warm rain will melt the rest of your snowdrifts. ha ha ha.
(p.s. i'm never coming back.)


(p.p.s. okay maybe someday. :) i do miss you. just not your weather.)

ugh. assessment.

i know, i know. three posts in one day. is it obvious that i'm having trouble concentrating on my assessment and retention paper? this, at least, came to my attention while i was reading the articles for the paper (if that averts any blame) from my course reader. i think it's funny. and it matches my current sentiments about the assessment process.
"Michael Patton relates a curious but notable extra-biblical account of the origin of assessment as follows:
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And God saw everything that He made. "Behold," God said, "It is very good."
And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
And on the seventh day God rested from all His work. His archangel came then unto Him asking, "God, how do you know that what you have created is 'very good?' What are your criteria? On what data do you base your judgment? Aren't you a little close to the situation to make a fair and unbiased evaluation?" God thought about these questions all that day and His rest was greatly disturbed. On the eighth day God said, "Lucifer, go to hell."
Thus was evaluation born in a blaze of glory (Patton 1986, 9)."

my thoughts exactly.

i'm an ENFJ. what are you?

yesterday i found the results of the myers-briggs personality test i took in college in a file in my desk drawer. i had forgotten how accurate they were, and i've been thinking about it all day. here's a description of my personality type from http://www.geocities.com/lifexplore/enfj.htm. if you know me at all, you've probably seen some of this. it's a creepily accurate in a lot of ways! it even warns about some of the things my mother warns me about!
i'm interested to know what types you are... if you know, leave a comment!

ENFJ - The Sage

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Profile by Sandra Krebs Hirsch and Jean Kummerow.

ENFJs are lively and enthusiastic facilitators who apply warmth and vision to helping people and meeting their needs. They are aware of people's aspirations and develop plans of action to make those aspirations into reality. They like organization and closure. They are at their best facilitating situations that require interpersonal sensitivity. ENFJs are tolerant and appreciative of others, seeking involvement with them in life's tasks. They are able communicators who are liberal in showing appreciation for others.

Living

ENFJ children want life to be friendly, harmonious, and lively. They are responsible children because they like to please others and meet their needs. In doing for others, they usually find satisfaction for themselves. They are upset by conflict or disharmony. They are pleasant, exuberant and talkative.

ENFJ teenagers are constantly on the go, participating in many, many things. They enjoy a wide variety of activities, not only for that variety but also for the action and opportunity to be with others. They love being involved with friends, clubs, and any activities that let them be with others. ENFJs are often voted most congenial or nicest person in their class. Additionally, they may serve as leaders in their school activities. As students, they are able to focus on the interpersonal spirit or nature of the school and to speak eloquently to others about the school's best values. ENFJs are likable because they notice what is good about people.

As young adults, ENFJs set goals early on, both in the personal and professional realms. They follow through diligently and usually attain what they seek. Often the goals they set have to do with making society a better place for people. ENFJs may sometimes feel pulled between financial gain and spiritual gain.

Many ENFJs take their religious and community values seriously and want others to do the same. Loyalty, commitment, and responsibility are important values to ENFJs, even as children. They often settle into organizations that have a values orientation, or they will find a spot in an organization that is centered on values or people's need. ENFJs make responsible spouses, employees, and community members. Because most ENFJs enjoy public speaking and seem to have a way with words, they are often asked to present the position of the groups to which they belong.

Some ENFJs report that at mid-life they seek situations for themselves where it is possible for them to turn inward. This often takes a structured form such as meditation, journaling, or in some cases even career changes.

In retirement, they are likely to want to settle geographically in an area where they have close personal relationships and/or close personal ties to a specific organization. The relationships and values that are imprtant to the ENFJ become even more so in their retirement. Many ENFJs participate in voluntary service work in retirement.

Learning

ENFJs learn best in structured situations in which they are able to talk bout the lesson and interact with their peers. Because they want their teachers to be pleased with them, they attempt to be model students. They are willing to do what is required in order to become personally recognized by their teachers. Because they take criticism personally, they can either be wounded by it or be willing to redouble their efforts in order to change the criticism. ENFJs enjoy classes that have subject matter relating to people, their needs, their aspirations, and their characterizations. Many ENFJs choose the liberal arts because it gives them an opportunity to more fully explore humanity.

ENFJs are good students when the subject matter relates to their strong relationship values and people orientation, and when the teacher is warm and personal. They apply the necessary effort and energy to complete the tasks that they start. ENFJs also like some independent learning and projects.

Working

ENFJs focused on the organization's ideals and operate within those ideals. They focus on how organizations should treat people and communicate these values to others. They enjoy leading and facilitating teams, and like to bring matters to mutually beneficial conclusions.

ENFJs prefer a work setting that contains individuals focused on changing things for the betterment of others. They like an environment that is people oriented, supportive, and organized. They do their best when there is a spirit of harmony, with encouragement given for self-expression. And they like their work to be settled and orderly, but not so much so that it is dull, quiet, unchanging, or unchallenging.

The ENFJ organizing style is to plan around the particular value or ideal and to supply the necessary energy toward its achievement or implementation. In the accomplishment of the goal, ENFJs will look at the people available and will assign tasks based on who needs the experience, the exposure, or the development. To a lesser degree, they will assign the task based on who needs the experience, the exposure, or the development. To a lesser degree, they will assign the task based purely on competency, because ENFJs feel it is more important to help others grow and develop new skills. If others have a particular deadline that needs to be met, the ENFJ will work to meet that deadline so that the other person will be happy.

ENFJs prefer occupations that reflect their ideals and that promote harmonious relationships with others. They tend to be attracted to occupation with a service orientation. They generally follow policies and procedures as long as those procedures are compatible with people's needs. They prefer things to be organized and decided rather than haphazard.

Some occupations seem to be more attractive to ENFJs: actor, clergy, consultant, counselor and therapist, designer, home economist, musician, religious worker, teacher, writer, and other occupations that allow them to be of service to others.

Leading

The ENFJ puts relationships and responsibilities before personal leisure. Their time can be imposed upon easily; however, they need to guard against excessive responsiveness to avoid reaching overload.

They particularly enjoy reading novels and seeing movies in order to see how the characters play out the life issues and questions presented in the story; it gives them an opportunity to see how others live and get along. They enjoy discussing their reading and may join book groups in order to do that. They like going to movies and plays with others and like to comment on the plot characterization. They are close observers of others' behavior.

Many ENFJs join religious or community-oriented groups whose focus is to work for better understanding between people. ENFJs like discussion and an opportunity to talk about values and philosophical topics. Many do not like activities in which there is a great deal of competition or in which someone or something could be hurt.

Loving

For the ENFJ, love means flowers, poetry, candlelight dinners --- in other words, romance with a capital R. When they first fall in love, they fall in love with an ideal perspective of what the relationship will be, and they fall deeply, head over heels. ENFJs value commitment and loyalty, and look for it from their partner. They typically enjoy activities with their partners that allow them to discuss the relationship and focus on what each person truly believes. When commitments are broken, ENFJs become upset because they see the breakup as a personal reflection on them and because they have idealized the relationship. Since they are willing to put the time and effort into the relationship, they expect it will continue on as it was from the very start. Relationships have their ups and downs; the downs, however, are particularly hard on the ENFJ, who does not manage disharmony well.

When scorned, ENFJs may be resentful, spiteful, and deeply hurt. Because they are acutely aware of emotional matters they take the breakup of a relationship especially hard. They are willing to discuss the ending of the relationship with only a few others because they feel a sense of blame and shame for the relationship not working out.

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Profile by David Keirsey

ENFJ's are outstanding leaders of groups, both task groups and growth groups. They have the charming characteristic of seeming to take for granted that they will be followed, never doubting that people will want to do what they suggest. And, more often than not, people do, because this type has unusual charisma. ENFJ's place a high value on cooperation from others and are most willing to cooperate themselves.

Found in only 5 percent of the general population, ENFJ's place people as being of highest importance and priority. As a result, ENFJ's may find themselves feeling responsible for the feelings of others to an extent which places a burden on the relationship. An ENFJ communicates caring, concern, and a willingness to become involved. Thus people turn to ENFJ's for nurture and support, which an ENFJ is usually able to deliver. At times, however, these kinds of demands can overwhelm ENFJ's, who find at this point that they lack the skills to dissociate. ENFJ's do not seem able to turn away from these demands even when they become unreasonable. Or, if forced to let go of the burden through sheer unavailability of time or energy, ENFJ's experience a guilt all out of proportion to the realities of the commitment made to the relationship.

ENFJ's are especially vulnerable to idealizing interpersonal relationships, raising these relationships to a plane which seldom can sustain the realities of human nature. Because of this tendency to raise interpersonal relations to the ideal, ENFJ's may unwittingly overpower their friends, who believe that they cannot possibly live up to an ENFJ's perception of them. The fact is, ENFJ's are extraordinarily tolerant of others, seldom critical, and always trustworthy.

ENFJ's take communication for granted and believe that they are understood and that their communications are accepted. Just as they themselves are accepting, so do they assume that others are the same. When ENFJ's find that their position or beliefs were not comprehended or accepted, they are surprised, puzzled, and sometimes hurt. Fortunately, this does not happen with high frequency, as ENFJ's have a remarkable fluency with language, especially in speech; they are particularly adept when communicating face-to-face as opposed to communicating in writing. They are influential, therefore, in groups, having no hesitation about speaking out, no matter how large or small the group may be.

ENFJ's have an unusual ability to relate to others with empathy, taking into themselves the characteristics, emotions, and beliefs of others. This can pose a danger for ENFJ's because they can unconsciously over-identify with others and pick up their burdens as if they were their own. In the process, ENFJ's may risk their own sense of identity. They have a natural ability to mimic because of this highly developed ability to empathize by introjection. They are likely to be very concerned about the problems of those close to them, but they also may get as deeply involved in the problems of those not so close and may find themselves over-extended emotionally.

ENFJ's would do well to follow their hunches, for their intuition tends to be well developed. Decisions made purely on the basis of logic may not be so sound, and checking with a person who has a strong T preference might be at times advisable for the ENFJ. In the framework of values, however, the ENFJ is on certain ground. Generally, they know what they prefer and can read other people with outstanding accuracy. Seldom is an ENFJ wrong about the motivations or intent of another, hidden or not.

Career

This longing for the perfect carries over into the careers of ENFJ's, who experience some degree of restlessness whatever their jobs. And, as with ENFP's, ENFJ's have a wide range of occupations which offer success. Being verbally adept, ENFJ's contribute to an unusual level when dealing with people, particularly face-to-face; the media, the ministry, and the stage and screen are populated with successful ENFJ's. They make superior therapists, charismatic teachers, excellent executives, and personalized salespersons. Areas that would not permit utilization of the interactional talents of ENFJ's for example, accounting, should be avoided; otherwise, almost any people-to-people occupation where personal, sustained contact is involved capitalizes on the personality of an ENFJ.

ENFJ'S like to have things settled and organized. They prefer to plan both work and social engagements ahead and tend to be absolutely reliable in honoring these commitments. ENFJ's are very much at home in complex situations which require the juggling of much data. At the same time, they can handle people with charm and concern. ENFJ's are usually popular wherever they are. Their ability to be comfortable either leading or following makes them easy to have around, whatever the situation. A well-developed ENFJ group leader can provide, almost endlessly, activities for groups to engage in with almost no preplanning and can find adequate roles for members of the group to play. In some, this can amount to genius which other types find hard to emulate. In this ability to organize without planning there is a certain similarity to an ESFJ, but the latter acts more as a master of ceremonies than as a leader of groups. The ESFJ is more of a recreational leader, who insures that each member has fun at a party and that the right things are expressed at social occasions, especially institutional social occasions such as weddings, funerals parties, and the like. ENFJ's, just like the ESFJ's, value harmonious human relations above all else; but ENFJ's are not so easily crushed by indifference as are ESFJ's and are more independent of other's valuations.

Home

ENFJ's are socially adept and make excellent companions and mates. They also are deeply devoted to their children, yet tend not to be domineering to either the children or mate. In fact, the ENFJ is so even-tempered that he or she can be victimized by a mate who might have become more and more demanding.

ENFJ mates always try to please and feel personally responsible when home life does not go smoothly. They are tireless in their efforts to see that it does, providing generously from available income, time, and energy. This dedication often exists, however, side by side with an ENFJ's dream of the perfect relationship-a characteristic of all NF's, but one which is particularly strong in an ENFJ. Thus an ENFJ has that longing for the ideal that results in a vague dissatisfaction with whatever is in the way of relationships, mating as well as friendships.

Midlife

At midlife, ENFJ's might want to expand their capabilities toward introverted activities such as reading, gardening, painting. They also may want to increase their sensitivity to classical music, subtleties of fine foods and beverages, beginning to develop ever-increasing discriminations of fineness among fine things. Already likely to be a gourmet, an ENFJ might become a connoisseur art collector, for example, or an expert of medieval tapestries. Also, the development further of intellectual capabilities might interest ENFJ's at midlife, perhaps taking the direction of formal study. ENFJ's have the ability to appreciate both people and nature, and more time spent in travel might be gratifying, particularly if this was used as an opportunity to collect works of art.

Mates

Who can complement this growth-catalyst? The opposite on the S side is ISTP, the "artisan." It is not difficult to see how the teacher inherent in the ENFJ would want to "bring out" the craftsman in the ISTP. The artisan, however, has another side to his nature that pops up occasionally and in some cases is a life theme: adventure and exploration. The ISTP can, so to speak, be wayward, take off for parts unknown. It is difficult to imagine a similar desire on the part of the ENFJ to bring out adventuresomeness.

The ENFJ, on the intuitive side, finds the INTP attractive. Now here is a splendid target for our catalyst, for beneath the cool, collected, detached, and doubting exterior lies an architect of buildings, machines, tools, operations, tactics, languages, mathematics, or whatever can be designed. If, that is, this latently capable designer can be "activated" or "brought out".

SPRING BREAK!!! sort of.

hey, calvin friends! remember when we were in college and we used to drive through campus, honking the horn, hanging out the windows, and yelling, "SPRING BREAK!" at the top of our lungs? remember how it was usually november when we did that? good times.
well, it is spring break around these parts this week, and it's nothing to drive around honking and yelling about. see, it's only spring break for two of the schools i'm associated with, and not for the kids at church. thus, i'm not on spring break. i am enjoying a slower week, and being able to participate in a few activities that i normally don't have as much time for, like having coffee with people from church, helping with beach project interviews, writing a handbook for student ministries here, and going to pittsburgh youth network west quadrant meetings. i'm also supposed to have time to do things like write papers for my assessment and retention class. or, blog! yay!
really though, i oughta get to that paper. if you have any input on the following topic, please send it my way:
"A senior offical at your institution has asked you to develop a "white paper" for discussion at next month's faculty meeting that explores a compelling rationale for assessment, including comment about first steps for an assessmenet program at the institutional, departmental, and general education levels."

no, nobody can help? i didn't think so. alright, back to work!